"All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate."…… or are they?

Ok kids, as your resident Christian, I feel obligated to render my opinion to you all for consideration concerning-what else- the Da Vinci Code. But unlike other religious folk who make it a point to take a stance just because they are offended about the sacrilegious content, I will give you guys FACTS that will hopefully keep you from falling into the Da Vinci Code’s number of, for lack of a better word, traps.

First of all, many of you may comment that The Da Vinci Code is simply fiction- it is in the fiction section, after all. But actually Dan Brown claims that all his research is based on actual historical fact. “All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate.” Lets get started.

The Lourve has 666 panes of glass. WRONG! Actual number 673. So much for accurate architectural facts.

Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Virgin of the Rocks” is a five foot tall canvas. WRONG! Actual number 6.5 feet tall. Although this one doesn’t seem very important, it is. Dan Brown’s wife is an art historian, which leads us to the idea that he can’t be very concerned with getting facts right. What was that about accurate descriptions of artwork?

80 Gospels were considered for the New Testament. WRONG! During that time, there were only 12 other gospels in circulation, other than Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John., making a total of 16. Just a little bit off there, Dan.

Emperor Constantine edited the Bible himself. WRONG! The majority of the New Testament was considered canonical centuries before Constatine was even alive, which means that the books were already considered to be part of the bible and formally pronounced by the church waaaay before Constatine was born.

Powerful men in the early Christian church ‘conned’ the world by propagating lies that devalued the female and tipped the scales in favor of the masculine. WRONG! This is one huge weak attempt at instigating a feministic uprising. Honestly. Anyone familiar with the bible would know that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. Jesus valued women as much as men and treated them with the same respect.

According to the Gospel of Philip, Mary Magdalene and Jesus were married. WRONG! First of all, nowhere in the Gospel of Philip does it state anything about marriage. Magdalene is said to be Jesus’ companion, and Brown says that in Aramaic, “companion” means spouse. Unfortunately for Dan, the Gospel of Philip was written in Greek to begin with, not Aramaic. And the Gospel of Philip was written in 275 a.d., which, if you know your history, is quite a long time after the life of Christ, making it a not exactly reliable source.

Magdalene and Jesus had a child. WRONG! I’m not even going to present you with scripture to back this puppy up. If Jesus and Mary had offspring, can you imagine how superior that family lineage would be? It wouldn’t be something easily hid from the public. You would have a hard time explaining why your ancestry seems to be so perfect. And lets face it, there is bound to be one loud mouth in each family, so you know that “little family secret” about Jesus being your great great great great great uncle? Yeah, once Cousin Ted gets a hold of that one it will most definately be common knowledge. Can you imagine the line at your front door of people wanting miracles performed? Nice try, Dan.

So please, if you decide to read this book or see the movie, just remember: It is fiction. I don’t care how adamantly Dan Brown insists that it is fact. If you don’t believe me on certain issues, please, by all means, go look it up for yourself.

If anyone has any other topics they’d like to bring up, feel free to comment, etc.


6 Responses to "All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate."…… or are they?

  1. Jay says:

    Interesting post. Top notch!

  2. Kevin says:

    Keep in mind that lineages can be lost over time. Just because Jesus and Magdeline’s potential lineage has no clue that he is their child doesn’t make it any less so.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hear, hear, Kevin…

    And Rae…a piece of advice? DON’T SEE IT if it offends you.

  4. Rae says:

    Keep in mind that Jesus and Mary were not married. If they had been, there would have been no reason for a cover-up and it would have stated in the bible that Jesus and Magdalene were husband and wife. Marriage was a perfectly normal thing, and Jesus would not have had to conceal it from the public. That said, the fact that they were not married leads us to the conclusion that there was no offspring. I’m going to go out on a branch here and say that Jesus probably would be the last person to have a child out of wedlock. But that’s just my opinion.

    And to the anonymous commenter- I am simply trying to help others (who do not have your common sense) understand that not everything they read is true. MOST people don’t believe there is a real Lord Voldemort, so why should you believe anything in The Da Vinci Code? It is, after all, fiction.
    And also, anonymous commenter, I do not plan on seeing the movie. Even though I love Tom Hanks.
    A lot.

  5. Anonymous says:

    It’s ENTERTAINMENT, Rae. A lot of people think that Star Trek is real! C’mon…lighten up…go see Tom for the ENTERTAINMENT value.

  6. Rachel says:

    Now then, Star Trek could in theory be real…

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